The Lucky Hart Blog

Election Day - Another One Come and Gone

By luckyhart
Nov 07, 2012

I love Election Day. I can remember like it was yesterday, everyone huddled around the TV watching the Kennedy election. We had the Catholic side of the family on one side of the room and the Lutherans on the other. Voting was at the country school house so, no school. This country is so great, we can voice our opinion and fight and then all have a beer and tell a good joke when it is all over.

This is my favorite joke of the year.President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hello, President Obama," a heavily accented Norwegian voice said. "'Dis here is Sven, over here at the Liquor Store in Lakota, North Dakota . Ve don't like some a yer policies so I am callin' to tell ya that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well, Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Knute, my next-door-neighbor Ole, and the whole pool team from the Four Seasons Bar."

Barack paused, "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Sven, "I'll haf ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. Obama, da war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Sven?" Barack asked.

"Vell sir, ve got two combines, a bulldozer, and three big farm tractors."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"All right den, said Sven. "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day... "President Obama, da war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Ole's ultra-light vit a couple'a shotguns in da cockpit, and four big boys from the coffee shop haf joined us as vell!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat.

"I must tell you, Sven, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Two million you say?," said Sven, "l'll haf' to call you back."

Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Vell, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's yust no vay ve can feed two million prisoners."


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